Tail of the poop that wouldn't flush

** Warning, what you are about to read is graphic. However I feel the tail must be told. Read on at your own amusement, awe, and shock. Be sure to click LOL at the end. **
P.S. No animals were harmed in the typing of this story. However Dan's eyes did water for a bit.


So on Saturday night after everyone went home from a fabulous Thanksgiving Feast, I needed to use the Restroom. It's a usual occurrence for pretty much everyone.  I used the room downstairs, because, well... that's where I was at.  I did my business and stood up, pulling up my britches, and turned to flush. Because our house is old, and for some reason this is a habit of mine anyway, I watched as my waste went down. Except that it looked like it wasn't going to go down.  YIKES!!!

I hollered for Dan to go upstairs and get the plunger from that restroom. Thinking to myself: " Why oh why did I not buy one for this restroom????"   

Now I know you all are thinking.... "Oh dear, the toilet overflowed....." and *shudder* in sympathy for me.

BUT, no it didn't. However it did get very close to the top.  I plunged a little and whoosh. Down everything went.

EXCEPT,  a lump of poop.  I raised my eyebrows, and thought "O.K. I will give the toilet a moment to fill back up and flush again."  I waited anxiously for the tank to finish filling, and I flushed again.

It didn't move. It still sat on the bottom of the bowl. I gave a deep sigh, and said to myself. "Alright, I will let it soak a few minutes and then flush."  I left the restroom and went about my business.

Dan did walk into the restroom to put something on the sink, and made sure to let me know that my sh*t does stink. His eyes watered a bit and he waived his hand in front of his nose. Jerk, LOL. 

OK now don't get sick. And please do not blame me as you aren't perfect either.

I forgot to go back and flush. I know, ewww.  But it could happen to anyone.

Sunday afternoon we went out to brunch with our good friends Andy & Stefanie. As we went outside through the basement, I stepped into the restroom, and remembered.  I lifted the lid and sure enough it hadn't gone anywhere.  I flushed again and walked away.  (No this time I didn't stay to watch. I was hungry and in a hurry.) 

A couple hours later we came back home and I needed to use the restroom again.  I went in, closed the door and lifted the lid.  What do I find?  The POOP THAT WOULDN'T FLUSH!

Honestly. It was STILL there.


I stood and stared. Finally nature pushed and I decided, well I will just go and my TP will push it down. (I only needed to pee. and thank goodness.  I think I would have gone upstairs to poop).

So I finished that business, stoop up, and flushed. I watched in fretful silence as the water swirled. When it finally settled, there was the poop. A little smaller than before, but still there.  I am frustrated. I don't want to touch it.  I mean what would I use? yuck!


I left it there thinking, OK it's wearing down. It will be gone tomorrow.

Monday evening I came home from work, and decided to investigate. Sure enough there it was. Just a lump on the bottom of the bowl.   I started thinking of South Park and contemplated naming it.

I poured some bowl cleaner in and shut the lid. 

Today is Tuesday. Yep, Tuesday. Guess what?  It is STILL there. I think I must have pooped out glue.

It's grown very small now, just a tiny lump. But I want him gone, or he is going to have to start paying rent.

Hopefully late tonight or early tomorrow the Bleach I am pouring in will kill it off.  Die poop! Die!