Losing my enthusiasm

What is it about the older I get the less excited I am about the holidays?  Like most things in my life these days, I get a little excited about the holiday coming and then when it's time to really get excited, I have decided it's no big deal and I don't really want to care.

Case in point, my last post about Halloween. I buy decorations every year to do up the inside of my home. This year, the only stuff that got shown off what the new stuff I bought. Which by the way did not all get set out.

Now Thanksgiving is upon us. but I have no desire to be excited over it. Because of the health problems this year I am already out of time off from work.  This means I have to work the day after TG.  This is not so bad as it is a dead as a door nail around here. (where did the term dead as a door nail come from anyway? I am under the impression that it was dead to begin with.... hum.)

I will bring in my lap top and watch movies, or read or do whatever. But I would rather be at home, in bed, or cleaning.  This year we will not be having a TG at my house on Thursday. Usually we have a small gathering on Thursday and then the Big family gathering on Saturday. But this year I have decided to forgo the Thursday get together and just do the Saturday.  This has taken a bit of the stress off me as I like to control everything and do more than needed to entertain family and friends.

Dan was just as excited at this decision and so we have decided that this year we are just going to hang at home and be bums! This has put a little spark of excitement in me as I love nothing more than having a do nothing, be nothing lazy butt.  

I have also started the Christmas Shopping. This used to be my most favorite thing to do. I love to shop for other people. But now it's a chore. Which is so sad to me. Once again health issues have caused me to not want to do anything that involves physical movement. I am doing almost all of my shopping on the Internet this year. It just seems so much easier. The thought of walking through a store just makes my head hurt. And Wrapping. Damn I am not looking forward to wrapping. I don't know why.   I used to love that too. But now, I am beginning to loath it.  I think if I could get away with it, I would just shove them all into grocery bags and hand them out that way.  I am thinking that I just need to find some sweet boy scout, or girl scout, or young person doing a service project and pay them to wrap all my stuff.  But then they would probably want way more than I would want to pay.

I wish I knew why the things I used to love and enjoy have now become a bore and a chore. I wish I could understand why it has become easier to just not do anything than to work up the enthusiasm to just do it.