First big fight

I have had to take a couple of days before writing this.  It has been a huge deal to me and
I debated if I even should keep record of it.

For the first time in our marriage Dan and I had a serious fight. Now I will point out that to most people this would be a small thing in the scheme of life, but we NEVER fight. We disagree, we discuss and I usually win. This time it was huge!

Last March I was in the hospital having a procedure done. Apparently somewhere in that vast facility they had some old info on me and one of the subcontractors billed a insurance company that I haven't used for 2 years. That being said, I was not aware of this snafu, and went blissfully on my way in life. Suddenly out of the blue, sometime in Late July early August I got a collection notice for just under $1000.00.  I called the agency and all I will say is that Collection Agents are JERKS.  The letter says I can dispute the claim, but I had to call. so I did and the jerk who answered told me I couldn't.  We didn't end our conversation on a happy note, and I called the company who was trying to collect. I spoke with a nice girl who told me of the mix up, but that she couldn't do anything because it was sent to collections. She told me they sent letters and called. She said one call was answered by a child. I said that's not possible since I have no kids, and it's a cell phone.

anyway I put it off for a while (totally my fault) and about a month ago I called and asked for the collections department of the medical place that money was owed to. I left a message and considered they would take care of it, since it was their fault for not filing the claim and not notifying me.

Wrong way to deal with it I guess. Last Sunday I received a summons. I have since found out that this is a notice of intent to sue. The Collections Agency was suing me. I seriously debated on not saying anything to Dan about it. I knew he would freak out. On Monday I contacted a lawyer through my work because I pay a bi-weekly fee for legal help. he asked me to drop the summons off and he would look at it. He advised me to just put in a claim through my insurance company.

Tuesday I decided to tell Dan about it. I felt it was wrong to not. He said he wasn't surprised, but seemed to handle it nicely. Then a few hours into my work day, I got a call to my work phone that I couldn't answer, and one to my cell phone a moment later. I looked up the number and it was the lawyer who was suing me. Suddenly I got a email from Dan telling me he got a call from them. Before I could respond with the lawyer info, I got a call on phone from Dan.  I always try to answer his calls because it's usually an emergency.

This time my sweet loving husband tossed me under the bus. He was conference calling with the Lawyers assistant. NO WARNING AT ALL.

I was so upset. I talked to this assistant who badgered me. They wanted an additional $400.00 on top of the bill. I told her that it wasn't my fault and that I had retained a lawyer. She went off on how it was a debit owed from 2010. I told her she was wrong. She didn't even know what the heck she was talking about. I gave her a run down and that I was under the assumption that her client's client had taken care of it and that I would not pay. I said I would discuss with my lawyer. she gave some stupid line about how I agreed to pay if my insurance did not, and I told her that the provider needed to bill the right insurance and that I would pay whatever they did not after that. I pretty much hung up on her.

Dan called back and I yelled at him. I was so mad. Here I was in the middle of my work day, I couldn't leave my desk and now all my co-workers got to hear about my dirty laundry. If I had a different boss I would have been fired. I hung up on him.

Because he car had broke down, I had to pick him up from work. I gave him the silent treatment. 2 hours later I was still pissed off. He didn't speak to me for a few minutes. We were heading to my lawyer's office to drop off the paperwork and discuss. Suddenly Dan tells me what happened. He freaked out because apparently this woman felt free to share my personal info with him.  Told him that if I didn't pay it by 5 pm that night the price would go up higher.  So after she browbeat him he called me with her, and after that call, he called the lawyer back and paid it off.

I was FURIOUS!  I was so MAD. it's crazy but for the first time in our marriage I seriously wanted to hit him. I held back but I am sure it was only because I was driving. We argued about it and I told him that I would call my lawyer and tell him never mind that my stupid ass husband paid it off.  What would the point be in talking to the lawyer now?

When we got home Dan just walked off down the street. I was actually kinda happy with that as I was: 1-pissed off at him and 2- He was showing some backbone in being pissed at me.

After his walk we both apologized and I told him I realized that he just trying to take care of me and make it go away.  but I was still unhappy in that he gave them a $400.00 profit that wasn't our fault.

We did make up, but as you can probably tell by this post that I am still upset over it. How did that woman from the lawyers office have my personal information?  I mean she knew about my hospital stay in January of 2010. Not only How could she have that, but why would she?  It had NOTHING to do with the medical agency that submitted the claim to an insurance agency that I hadn't been with in so long. I was even surprised that they had this old info as I have NEVER used that insurance at the hospital I was at. Why would that hospital even have that old crap on file?

I think I will wrap up this post. I'm just getting myself all worked up.

Road Rage, Skull Spliting Headaches and Christmas Decorating

so I have been a very bad girl.  I have not been taking my medicine (except for my insulin) for the last probably 4 maybe even 5 weeks. I am not sure when exactly the child in my took over, but it's not so much of a case of I don't want to, but a case of oh well.

With that being said, I can say that I have noticed a difference in me. 1- I want to kill everything that makes me angry. EVERYTHING. Last Thursday I left work in a fairly OK mood. I had to stop for Gas along the way and was even pretty patient with the guy who sat in his car forever before moving so I could pull up to the pump. I was a little irritated because I couldn't find my debit card, and had to use a different card, but not overly upset. then I pulled out and had to maneuver the car so I could make a right onto 7th east. I wanted to cross over the 4 lanes so I could get on the freeway. I must admit that I could have turned right, but I was waiting until I could just go across all 4 lanes. There was some girl behind me with a guy in the passenger seat and they kept honking at me. GRRR.  I don't know why, but suddenly I was the Incredible Hulk. I was so bitter and angry that I litterally flipped them off and then tailgated them. When I pulled up along side I was yelling and making rude gestures.

Suddenly it hit me..... What was I doing?  I was ready to climb out of my car and beat the holy heavens out of her. This is so not like me. I also noticed that I have been way more short and curt with Dan. When I got home Thursday I was in such a foul mood that Dan called our friends Andy and Stefanie and asked if he could come over to their house.  He was afraid I would be upset about him wanting to go over there and all I could think of was: "please, please go before I say and do things that I don't mean."

So I really need to get back on those pills. Zoloft is Dan's friend......

Friday night I was really irritated because I know that Dan's office was having a X-mas party, but he neglected to tell me that it was that night. so I found a white Elephant gift and took off to meet him at the restaurant. I was even more upset and uptight about fact that there is no parking at the restaurant and that I would have to have Valet Parking.... and Pay for it. (The parking is free if I wanted to walk two blocks uphill in the snow). I was upset not so much because i had to pay for it, as I was upset because my car is full of garbage. I eat my lunch in my car most days and it is full of fast food bags and junk. I had Mad Greek for lunch that day and the car smelled like onions. If I would have known about the parking, I would have made Dan come get me or I would have taken time to clean it out.  I got over it, but I noticed that my hair trigger anger was right on target and it was all I could do not to take it out on him.

Saturday I was supposed to go shopping with Beth and then go to Stefanie's B-Day party. I was looking forward to that because I love to play games with everyone and we were going to try a new restaurant. Instead I slept until 4 PM and in the few times I awoke, I had skull splitting headaches. The only true relief I got was when I was sleeping. Dan finally called the Poen's to let them know I wasn't feeling well and we wouldn't be going. I felt so bad because I wanted to go, but when I finally got up to move I was so sick to my tummy. I have never had as far as I know a Migraine, but if this was what migraine suffers feel I am so sorry.

I finally figured out that several aspirin, some ibuprofen and lots of water is very helpful. I never tossed my cookies, but I did come close.  The last time my head hurt that bad it was brought on by Nitro when I was in the hospital, and to be honest I don't think that even hurt that bad.

Sunday morning, I woke up feeling like a daisy. I had a spring in my step and was all gun-ho on getting my house straightened up so I could get my X-mas decorations up. Dan was sweet enough to lug all the totes up and we got them emptied out. All that is left is to hang the stuff on the tree.  YEA!  I was so happy.

this weekend was a bummer that turned out to be a bit OK. And I didn't yell at Dan all that much.