so I have been a very bad girl. I have not been taking my medicine (except for my insulin) for the last probably 4 maybe even 5 weeks. I am not sure when exactly the child in my took over, but it's not so much of a case of I don't want to, but a case of oh well.
With that being said, I can say that I have noticed a difference in me. 1- I want to kill everything that makes me angry. EVERYTHING. Last Thursday I left work in a fairly OK mood. I had to stop for Gas along the way and was even pretty patient with the guy who sat in his car forever before moving so I could pull up to the pump. I was a little irritated because I couldn't find my debit card, and had to use a different card, but not overly upset. then I pulled out and had to maneuver the car so I could make a right onto 7th east. I wanted to cross over the 4 lanes so I could get on the freeway. I must admit that I could have turned right, but I was waiting until I could just go across all 4 lanes. There was some girl behind me with a guy in the passenger seat and they kept honking at me. GRRR. I don't know why, but suddenly I was the Incredible Hulk. I was so bitter and angry that I litterally flipped them off and then tailgated them. When I pulled up along side I was yelling and making rude gestures.
Suddenly it hit me..... What was I doing? I was ready to climb out of my car and beat the holy heavens out of her. This is so not like me. I also noticed that I have been way more short and curt with Dan. When I got home Thursday I was in such a foul mood that Dan called our friends Andy and Stefanie and asked if he could come over to their house. He was afraid I would be upset about him wanting to go over there and all I could think of was: "please, please go before I say and do things that I don't mean."
So I really need to get back on those pills. Zoloft is Dan's friend......
Friday night I was really irritated because I know that Dan's office was having a X-mas party, but he neglected to tell me that it was that night. so I found a white Elephant gift and took off to meet him at the restaurant. I was even more upset and uptight about fact that there is no parking at the restaurant and that I would have to have Valet Parking.... and Pay for it. (The parking is free if I wanted to walk two blocks uphill in the snow). I was upset not so much because i had to pay for it, as I was upset because my car is full of garbage. I eat my lunch in my car most days and it is full of fast food bags and junk. I had Mad Greek for lunch that day and the car smelled like onions. If I would have known about the parking, I would have made Dan come get me or I would have taken time to clean it out. I got over it, but I noticed that my hair trigger anger was right on target and it was all I could do not to take it out on him.
Saturday I was supposed to go shopping with Beth and then go to Stefanie's B-Day party. I was looking forward to that because I love to play games with everyone and we were going to try a new restaurant. Instead I slept until 4 PM and in the few times I awoke, I had skull splitting headaches. The only true relief I got was when I was sleeping. Dan finally called the Poen's to let them know I wasn't feeling well and we wouldn't be going. I felt so bad because I wanted to go, but when I finally got up to move I was so sick to my tummy. I have never had as far as I know a Migraine, but if this was what migraine suffers feel I am so sorry.
I finally figured out that several aspirin, some ibuprofen and lots of water is very helpful. I never tossed my cookies, but I did come close. The last time my head hurt that bad it was brought on by Nitro when I was in the hospital, and to be honest I don't think that even hurt that bad.
Sunday morning, I woke up feeling like a daisy. I had a spring in my step and was all gun-ho on getting my house straightened up so I could get my X-mas decorations up. Dan was sweet enough to lug all the totes up and we got them emptied out. All that is left is to hang the stuff on the tree. YEA! I was so happy.
this weekend was a bummer that turned out to be a bit OK. And I didn't yell at Dan all that much.
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