So I got a letter in the mail posted dated 3/6/13. It was from my primary care doctor. I have been seeing this man for roughly 15 years. In the last 4 or 5 years I have had a harder time going to see him. If you have read this blog, you would know I am a horrible diabetic. I feel guilt every time I see him because I just can't seem to keep up with our plan on my treatment. I don't always go see him when I should.
A while ago he sent me the first letter pretty much chastising me for not taking the calls from his staff when they wanted to set up an office visit and how I should be seeing him every 3 months. I felt bad and vowed to do better. Then about a year after that he pretty much wrote me the same thing, again in letter, and added that if I didn't want to be his patient anymore I had better straighten up. I admit I was shocked because after the first letter I didn't ignore the phone calls from his office, and called back to schedule appointments. I admit I was bad because I should have been more proactive and called to make my appointments rather than waiting for his staff to call me. But they were pretty good about it, and I got a little lazy.
Well this time I totally spaced how much time it had been since I last saw him. So this new letter pretty much hit me out of the blue. Mostly because the minute I saw the envelope, I knew what it was, and realized I hadn't gotten a call from his office in some time. I didn't even open it first. I totally checked my phone to see my most recent calls. See I was getting some annoying solicitation calls for a while in February, and had taken to ignoring them. I thought may e I missed a call from the Doctor's office. But nope, no calls from his office for the last 3 months. Hum.....
So I opened the letter curious to know what was going on, and mentally telling myself I would call the next day to set an appointment.
Well the letter was bit of a shock. I got my very own dear Denise letter. He pretty much writes on how my health is apparently more important to him than me, but since I continue to ignore his staff's calls, I could now go and find myself a new doctor. WTF?
I haven't gotten a single call from them in 3 months nor a voice message in 4. Because that's how far my phone goes back. Needless to say I was pretty upset, but I didn't read the letter correctly because I thought it was just another scare letter. So today I called the office to see if I could make an appointment, and was told by the receptionist that I was listed as no longer this doctors patient.
Yep I had been dumped just like a teenage girl the day before prom. By letter. I told the receptionist what was going on, that I hadn't gotten any calls from the office. He offed to let me speak to the
nurse, but I said I was at work and asked if she could call me back. After I hung up I went through a series of emotions. I was sad and scared at first. I mean now I was alone in an unknown sea. This man knew all my history, and had been there through the ups and downs.
Then I was sad and mad. Mad that he treated me this way with out the courtesy of listening to my side. Then I was angry because I felt like maybe he had set me up and just didn't want me any more. But what a crappy way of breaking up with me.
Tonight as I sit here and type this, I feel some relief. I realize that I was afraid of my doctor. Not that he was mean or cruel (except this last time), but that I never wanted to go see him because he made me feel like a 5 year old being caught stealing a piece of candy from the store.
It is his right of course to refuse service, just as I now realize it is my right to find a new provider. I am a bit scared as I don't want find a doctor who is going to make me feel 5 again, but I hope I can find someone who can truly understand me and my fears. Maybe I can even find someone who. Will spend more than 10 minutes with me during an office visit and will actually listen to me when I talk.
It's liberating to know I have this right. I just have some hope. So while this doctor was not an awful prom date, I'm glad he broke up with me first.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
New roommates
It's been a while. Very long while.
I chalk it up to laziness and time. I just feel like I have no time. So even though I sit on the couch and read or watch TV, I don't want to take time away to blog.
things have turned topsy turvy in my world. Dan and I decided to help a friend out. She's been needing some help for some time. We moved her into our house and no sooner was that done then she got sick.
I suppose it's a good thing, as it would have been super harder for her if she had "fallen apart" at her other place.
My hardest time with this new turn of events is her dogs. She has 3 dogs, Stanley, Zoe and Roland.
Stanley cannot stay at my house because he has become old and senile and thinks it's ok to bark at, chase after and attack cats.
We tried to let him live with Lorie, but he just went crazy over her cat. Currently he is staying with one of Charlotte's friends. I feel terrible because he is such a sweet dog, but I can't have him tearing up my house to get to my cats. (he has scratched up the carpet before trying to get a rabbit. And at Lories he kept trying to take down the baby gate.)
Zoe and Roland live with us. Right now I am sad because they cannot be allowed to roam free around the house. Right now they still want to play with the kitties. (They are not mean or attack the cats. They just want to play wiht the cats.) Plus Roland is a Sh*t. He is not very trained and will not come when called. He has snuck out the door on a few occasions and Dan and I and Charlotte have had to chase him around the neighborhood.
It's actually been kind of funny now looking back. But at the time it's been pretty damn scary. I really think I can work with him, but I need the energy first. And the space.
Zoe is actually a great dog with the exception that she wants to bark at the kitties if they run away from her. She doesn't roam far and will pretty much come when called (a few calls actually).
I am hoping to get to a point where Charlotte will not have to lock them in her room, but I don't know when that will happen. In the meantime I am dealing with two dogs. I know Char is sick and needs help, but it's been pretty hard on all 3 of us. Neither Dan nor I have a dog for a very good reason. We are just not ready to commit to a child. Which is basically what a dog is.
My cats are independent. They have a window to go in and out of, Litter boxes, large food dishes and water bowls. Their only physical requirements of us is to keep those things full or clean.
Dogs require a bit more. They need some serious companionship, a door man and food delivery service. It's times like this when I really WISH that our fence was fixed. Then I could just open the door and not worry that Roland will take off.
other things that have been going on: I had a episode last week where my surgars were so high I almost passed out. After the ER visit I have been trying extra hard to be good. This morning I was a little woosy, so I loaded up on insulin. I am finally starting to feel better. I'm surprised because I was higher than usual this morning, but not nearly as high as I was that day. hum......
My new goal? To get my act together and get feeling better so I can get my home back together and deal with all the crap.
I chalk it up to laziness and time. I just feel like I have no time. So even though I sit on the couch and read or watch TV, I don't want to take time away to blog.
things have turned topsy turvy in my world. Dan and I decided to help a friend out. She's been needing some help for some time. We moved her into our house and no sooner was that done then she got sick.
I suppose it's a good thing, as it would have been super harder for her if she had "fallen apart" at her other place.
My hardest time with this new turn of events is her dogs. She has 3 dogs, Stanley, Zoe and Roland.
Stanley cannot stay at my house because he has become old and senile and thinks it's ok to bark at, chase after and attack cats.
We tried to let him live with Lorie, but he just went crazy over her cat. Currently he is staying with one of Charlotte's friends. I feel terrible because he is such a sweet dog, but I can't have him tearing up my house to get to my cats. (he has scratched up the carpet before trying to get a rabbit. And at Lories he kept trying to take down the baby gate.)
Zoe and Roland live with us. Right now I am sad because they cannot be allowed to roam free around the house. Right now they still want to play with the kitties. (They are not mean or attack the cats. They just want to play wiht the cats.) Plus Roland is a Sh*t. He is not very trained and will not come when called. He has snuck out the door on a few occasions and Dan and I and Charlotte have had to chase him around the neighborhood.
It's actually been kind of funny now looking back. But at the time it's been pretty damn scary. I really think I can work with him, but I need the energy first. And the space.
Zoe is actually a great dog with the exception that she wants to bark at the kitties if they run away from her. She doesn't roam far and will pretty much come when called (a few calls actually).
I am hoping to get to a point where Charlotte will not have to lock them in her room, but I don't know when that will happen. In the meantime I am dealing with two dogs. I know Char is sick and needs help, but it's been pretty hard on all 3 of us. Neither Dan nor I have a dog for a very good reason. We are just not ready to commit to a child. Which is basically what a dog is.
My cats are independent. They have a window to go in and out of, Litter boxes, large food dishes and water bowls. Their only physical requirements of us is to keep those things full or clean.
Dogs require a bit more. They need some serious companionship, a door man and food delivery service. It's times like this when I really WISH that our fence was fixed. Then I could just open the door and not worry that Roland will take off.
other things that have been going on: I had a episode last week where my surgars were so high I almost passed out. After the ER visit I have been trying extra hard to be good. This morning I was a little woosy, so I loaded up on insulin. I am finally starting to feel better. I'm surprised because I was higher than usual this morning, but not nearly as high as I was that day. hum......
My new goal? To get my act together and get feeling better so I can get my home back together and deal with all the crap.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Had a total metldown, so warning. this is a whiney fest. read at your own risk
I was supposed to go back to work today, but I didn't. I have been w/out my happy pills for a couple of days now, and I guess I didn't realize that this was a problem. Last night as I got ready for bed, I felt the whole world crashing down on me. I suddenly understood what Atlas feels like. Damn the world is heavy. I have had terrible nightmares, people dying on me, or telling me I am a terrible person, or well just not loving me like I thought they would.
I try to hide this mostly because I know that it just causes havoc for Dan. He's a sweet man who is very smart but not socially so. I guess he falls into the guy frame of mind of: "CRAP! how do I fix this?"
It took a long time to stop crying, and I bit of time to get it out. I ran the whole gambit, Everyone hates me, I suck, I can't fake it anymore! I am scared of going on, scared of dying, scared of Dan dying, scared of everyone else I love dying, scared of going back to work. Scared of EVERYTHING!
I cried because Brandy doesn't work with me anymore and Jill is out on Maternity leave. It's crazy because Brandy has been gone for a year, and it still stings a bit. Jill is only gone for 3 months and I am sad because it feels like it's going to be 3 years. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I love the people I work with. They are bright, funny, and understand. But I have a special bond with these two ladies that just goes above the co-worker world.
I cried because Lorie is so far away and Beth is so far the other way. I feel bad because I feel so needy. Stef is right here and I can't even feel good about bugging her, and Charlotte is so far away from me.
I feel like a loser and a failure because I can't even fix their problems. ( maybe my testosterone is up. I have a guy-like fix it obsession).
I feel really frustrated because I don't have the will power to do anything. I went to Stef's tonight to let Lily out, and that seemed to wipe me out. I came home and instead of cleaning my house, or even making a token attempt, I am crying on my computer and to this blog.
did I tell you I called a cleaning service to find out what it would cost to have my house cleaned? The person who came seemed to think it would take 2 people 8 hours to clean. That's 1 bedroom, 1 kitchen, 1 living room, 1 family room and 2 bathrooms. for $512.00.
I was thinking it would be a couple of hours for 2 people. I was thinking about $150.00. Five hundred twelve dollars is just a bit above my budget. This frustrates me, because I can't seem to do it myself and Dan can't do it. I don't want family or friends to help, because that's a guilty thing and I would end up doing it myself. So anyone who knows someone in the SLC area who wants to earn $150.00 dollars for cleaning up a house, let me know.
This has too caused stress. I took a sleeping pill tonight. I need to make sure I sleep and get up and go to work and remember that I am ok. good night
I try to hide this mostly because I know that it just causes havoc for Dan. He's a sweet man who is very smart but not socially so. I guess he falls into the guy frame of mind of: "CRAP! how do I fix this?"
It took a long time to stop crying, and I bit of time to get it out. I ran the whole gambit, Everyone hates me, I suck, I can't fake it anymore! I am scared of going on, scared of dying, scared of Dan dying, scared of everyone else I love dying, scared of going back to work. Scared of EVERYTHING!
I cried because Brandy doesn't work with me anymore and Jill is out on Maternity leave. It's crazy because Brandy has been gone for a year, and it still stings a bit. Jill is only gone for 3 months and I am sad because it feels like it's going to be 3 years. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I love the people I work with. They are bright, funny, and understand. But I have a special bond with these two ladies that just goes above the co-worker world.
I cried because Lorie is so far away and Beth is so far the other way. I feel bad because I feel so needy. Stef is right here and I can't even feel good about bugging her, and Charlotte is so far away from me.
I feel like a loser and a failure because I can't even fix their problems. ( maybe my testosterone is up. I have a guy-like fix it obsession).
I feel really frustrated because I don't have the will power to do anything. I went to Stef's tonight to let Lily out, and that seemed to wipe me out. I came home and instead of cleaning my house, or even making a token attempt, I am crying on my computer and to this blog.
did I tell you I called a cleaning service to find out what it would cost to have my house cleaned? The person who came seemed to think it would take 2 people 8 hours to clean. That's 1 bedroom, 1 kitchen, 1 living room, 1 family room and 2 bathrooms. for $512.00.
I was thinking it would be a couple of hours for 2 people. I was thinking about $150.00. Five hundred twelve dollars is just a bit above my budget. This frustrates me, because I can't seem to do it myself and Dan can't do it. I don't want family or friends to help, because that's a guilty thing and I would end up doing it myself. So anyone who knows someone in the SLC area who wants to earn $150.00 dollars for cleaning up a house, let me know.
This has too caused stress. I took a sleeping pill tonight. I need to make sure I sleep and get up and go to work and remember that I am ok. good night
Saturday, June 2, 2012
would rather be blogging about my trip
As soon as we got home from Florida I knew something was off. I was sure it was just me being extra tired, because we were pretty non stop. I kept telling myself I was going to blog about the trip and bore everyone, but I couldn't get up the energy.
as the days went by I felt a bit more tired and a upset with myself that I was going to forget the whole trip before I got it "down on paper". I was also feeling a bit overwhelmed as my work load increased on it's own, and Jill went out on Maternity leave. I started feeling a bit of stress by the end of my 2nd week back. Thursday night (5/24/12) I was up late with HeartBurn. Now I know that before I have thought it was heartburn and it wasn't, but I have a rule now. I take HB meds, and if it goes away, we are good. It did and I went to work on Friday. but Friday night I was feeling it again. I had plans for Saturday and felt bad enough Saturday morning to cancel them. By Saturday Night I was having a heavy squeeze on my chest and the HB meds weren't touching it. Dan asked if I needed to go to the hospital and all I could think of was that I needed to shower first.
After my shower I got dressed in my most comfiest of clothes and asked my sweet concerned hubby to take me to the ER. We had our Kindles in hand and Dan even grabbed a charger just in case. I feel like such a seasoned vet when it comes to this. I am seriously thinking they should have some sort of frequent patient rewards program. Something like Tylenol for free with every 2 ER visits w/in 3 years.
They took me right back. Oddly enough telling someone you have chest pain seems to get them moving faster than if I said I was bleeding from a cut off limb. I was whisked to the back of the ER at IMC and hooked up before Dan could get his Kindle going.
I have to be honest and say I wasn't impressed with my ER Dr. very much. I realize of course that his job is not to impress me, and his customer service tone and manners left a lot to be desired. I assumed he read my past file before seeing me, because he made me feel (by tone and attitude, not by words completely) that I was a bad girl and was being sent to the principles office for detention.
The first EKG done was good. Nothing seemed wrong. I was still hurting in my chest, but it was manageable. Hum.... maybe it was just HB after all. But about 30 minutes into my visit my pain increased like no other. OWIE! I gritted my teeth and said nothing for as long as I could stand it. The Nurse came back and gave me a GI cocktail. Basically a liquid mix of all HB stuff that could help. I chugged that baby down, made my lips and tongue go numb and continued to have some pain. She stuck a Nitro Pill under my tongue and all it did was give me a blinking headache. The Doctor came back in, asked me questions and treated me like he was the one doped up. when he walked out of the room I looked at Dan and shrugged my shoulders. He made me feel like I was making everything up.
Finally the EKG guy came back, the Blood Pressure was sky rocketing, and the nurse gave me another Nitro. The Doctor came back and said they were going to admit me because this time the EKG was bad.
I was admitted to the ICU, Given a drip of Nitro which gave me a tremendous headache and the chest pain dulled to a mild pressure.
The Cardiologist came to see me Sunday Morning. He was NICE. He told me that they would take me to the CATH lab as soon as possible to look me over. Unfortunately it was a holiday weekend, and I guess everyone else needed the lab before me. I got passed over 5 times. The last time the CATH team was in my room and got a call about an emergency. I had nothing to eat for 17 hours. The nurse was nice enough to sneak me crackers and a water at about Hour 17. Finally I got to go down. I was so tired and achey the moment they finally put the pain killers in me I was out like a light.
I had 1 full blockage in my Right Artery closest to my heart and 80% blockage just a bit farther down the same artery. I actually have several more partially blocked vessels. I'm a walking time bomb. Thanks Mom and Dad! those genetics are GREAT!
I am now at home recovering and while I'm still tired I am getting better. But instead of blogging about Sunny Orlando and my great arm tan, I am blogging about my trip to the hospital. Grrr.
Hopefully in the next few days I will get the trip down for my own purposes.
as the days went by I felt a bit more tired and a upset with myself that I was going to forget the whole trip before I got it "down on paper". I was also feeling a bit overwhelmed as my work load increased on it's own, and Jill went out on Maternity leave. I started feeling a bit of stress by the end of my 2nd week back. Thursday night (5/24/12) I was up late with HeartBurn. Now I know that before I have thought it was heartburn and it wasn't, but I have a rule now. I take HB meds, and if it goes away, we are good. It did and I went to work on Friday. but Friday night I was feeling it again. I had plans for Saturday and felt bad enough Saturday morning to cancel them. By Saturday Night I was having a heavy squeeze on my chest and the HB meds weren't touching it. Dan asked if I needed to go to the hospital and all I could think of was that I needed to shower first.
After my shower I got dressed in my most comfiest of clothes and asked my sweet concerned hubby to take me to the ER. We had our Kindles in hand and Dan even grabbed a charger just in case. I feel like such a seasoned vet when it comes to this. I am seriously thinking they should have some sort of frequent patient rewards program. Something like Tylenol for free with every 2 ER visits w/in 3 years.
They took me right back. Oddly enough telling someone you have chest pain seems to get them moving faster than if I said I was bleeding from a cut off limb. I was whisked to the back of the ER at IMC and hooked up before Dan could get his Kindle going.
I have to be honest and say I wasn't impressed with my ER Dr. very much. I realize of course that his job is not to impress me, and his customer service tone and manners left a lot to be desired. I assumed he read my past file before seeing me, because he made me feel (by tone and attitude, not by words completely) that I was a bad girl and was being sent to the principles office for detention.
The first EKG done was good. Nothing seemed wrong. I was still hurting in my chest, but it was manageable. Hum.... maybe it was just HB after all. But about 30 minutes into my visit my pain increased like no other. OWIE! I gritted my teeth and said nothing for as long as I could stand it. The Nurse came back and gave me a GI cocktail. Basically a liquid mix of all HB stuff that could help. I chugged that baby down, made my lips and tongue go numb and continued to have some pain. She stuck a Nitro Pill under my tongue and all it did was give me a blinking headache. The Doctor came back in, asked me questions and treated me like he was the one doped up. when he walked out of the room I looked at Dan and shrugged my shoulders. He made me feel like I was making everything up.
Finally the EKG guy came back, the Blood Pressure was sky rocketing, and the nurse gave me another Nitro. The Doctor came back and said they were going to admit me because this time the EKG was bad.
I was admitted to the ICU, Given a drip of Nitro which gave me a tremendous headache and the chest pain dulled to a mild pressure.
The Cardiologist came to see me Sunday Morning. He was NICE. He told me that they would take me to the CATH lab as soon as possible to look me over. Unfortunately it was a holiday weekend, and I guess everyone else needed the lab before me. I got passed over 5 times. The last time the CATH team was in my room and got a call about an emergency. I had nothing to eat for 17 hours. The nurse was nice enough to sneak me crackers and a water at about Hour 17. Finally I got to go down. I was so tired and achey the moment they finally put the pain killers in me I was out like a light.
I had 1 full blockage in my Right Artery closest to my heart and 80% blockage just a bit farther down the same artery. I actually have several more partially blocked vessels. I'm a walking time bomb. Thanks Mom and Dad! those genetics are GREAT!
I am now at home recovering and while I'm still tired I am getting better. But instead of blogging about Sunny Orlando and my great arm tan, I am blogging about my trip to the hospital. Grrr.
Hopefully in the next few days I will get the trip down for my own purposes.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
SnowWhite and six packs a day
Today Lorie and I got a chance to hang out, just us girls. It always amazes me that we don't get to do it nearly often enough, and yet, once we are together it's like we were never apart.
So today's adventure starts with us going out to eat at Olive Garden. I was craving some Chicken Alfredo, and Lorie, who just got braces on her teeth, needed something soft to chew.
We laughed and talked and just enjoyed. Afterwards we were going to go to Color Me Mine and do some painting. But during our lunch, her son called to let us know that it was Nate's Birthday today and the family was going out to the grave to celebrate. So we decided to meet them there since we were already out that way. We ended up waiting on them for an hour and a half.
It was cold and windy and the balloons the girls wrote on floated away quickly. Riley passed out glazed donuts and I got to hold Carter for a while. He smelled so good. His mommies perfume and baby smell. But of course he sneezed and got snot all over me. What is it with babies and getting their goop on me?
Jori cut the time short because she needed to go to the bathroom, and the cemetery doesn't have facilities.
Lorie and I then went on to color me mine. But when we got there they told us that we would have to be done painting by 5. It was already 3:30, but we thought we could do it. Then.... we noticed that they didn't really have what we thought we would paint and it was taking us some time to even decide what we wanted. So... we left.
Lorie needed a car charger for her phone, and we needed to get Jared some stuff for the Disney World trip. So we went to (sorry Brandy) Wal-Mart.
We walked through and got what we needed and a couple of items we didn't, and got into the check out line. Both Lorie and I bought sunglasses. One for Jared and a pair for me. The checker girl was nice and sweet but didn't say much. Lorie went first and the girl put the sunglasses out on the little check writing table. Lorie looked at her and then took them and put them in her bag.
When it was my turn, the checker put my sunglasses on the table thing, and said: "I just can't bear to put them in the bag." Lorie and I both froze. The girl had the voice of Snow White. SERIOUSLY.
She even giggled as she said that. Just like Snow White. I didn't know how to respond to her comment, so I smiled and said thank you. And this checker with the high pitched voice just kept talking and telling us to have a great day.
We grabbed our bags and headed towards the exit. Once we got there, we started to laugh. I told Lorie that if I had to work standing next to that girl for longer than 10 minutes I'd have to kill her based on her voice and giggle alone. Then Lorie commented that she was Snow White and even the way she said "I just can't bear to put them in the bag," was a Snow White-ism. So then I said well at least she didn't have a voice like someone who smoked six packs a day. So Lorie being her usual funny self says in a deep voiced attempt to sound like a smoker: "I just can't bear to put them in the bag." We were almost to the car and I stated laughing so hard I..... yep FARTED. It wasn't a small dainty thing. It was a loud bomb type fart. This made both Lorie and I laugh even harder which caused me to keep on a tooting. There were people all around us. If they couldn't tell what we were laughing at, then they were deaf.
We hopped in the car and took off, laughing about how Snow White would have sounded if she smoked six packs a day.
So today's adventure starts with us going out to eat at Olive Garden. I was craving some Chicken Alfredo, and Lorie, who just got braces on her teeth, needed something soft to chew.
We laughed and talked and just enjoyed. Afterwards we were going to go to Color Me Mine and do some painting. But during our lunch, her son called to let us know that it was Nate's Birthday today and the family was going out to the grave to celebrate. So we decided to meet them there since we were already out that way. We ended up waiting on them for an hour and a half.
It was cold and windy and the balloons the girls wrote on floated away quickly. Riley passed out glazed donuts and I got to hold Carter for a while. He smelled so good. His mommies perfume and baby smell. But of course he sneezed and got snot all over me. What is it with babies and getting their goop on me?
Jori cut the time short because she needed to go to the bathroom, and the cemetery doesn't have facilities.
Lorie and I then went on to color me mine. But when we got there they told us that we would have to be done painting by 5. It was already 3:30, but we thought we could do it. Then.... we noticed that they didn't really have what we thought we would paint and it was taking us some time to even decide what we wanted. So... we left.
Lorie needed a car charger for her phone, and we needed to get Jared some stuff for the Disney World trip. So we went to (sorry Brandy) Wal-Mart.
We walked through and got what we needed and a couple of items we didn't, and got into the check out line. Both Lorie and I bought sunglasses. One for Jared and a pair for me. The checker girl was nice and sweet but didn't say much. Lorie went first and the girl put the sunglasses out on the little check writing table. Lorie looked at her and then took them and put them in her bag.
When it was my turn, the checker put my sunglasses on the table thing, and said: "I just can't bear to put them in the bag." Lorie and I both froze. The girl had the voice of Snow White. SERIOUSLY.
She even giggled as she said that. Just like Snow White. I didn't know how to respond to her comment, so I smiled and said thank you. And this checker with the high pitched voice just kept talking and telling us to have a great day.
We grabbed our bags and headed towards the exit. Once we got there, we started to laugh. I told Lorie that if I had to work standing next to that girl for longer than 10 minutes I'd have to kill her based on her voice and giggle alone. Then Lorie commented that she was Snow White and even the way she said "I just can't bear to put them in the bag," was a Snow White-ism. So then I said well at least she didn't have a voice like someone who smoked six packs a day. So Lorie being her usual funny self says in a deep voiced attempt to sound like a smoker: "I just can't bear to put them in the bag." We were almost to the car and I stated laughing so hard I..... yep FARTED. It wasn't a small dainty thing. It was a loud bomb type fart. This made both Lorie and I laugh even harder which caused me to keep on a tooting. There were people all around us. If they couldn't tell what we were laughing at, then they were deaf.
We hopped in the car and took off, laughing about how Snow White would have sounded if she smoked six packs a day.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
nothing like feeling dumb, or I love my boss
I usually try not to discuss work in my blog. Mainly for two reasons. 1. because actual work stuff is boring, and 2. No one needs to know about my job.
Also I like the Rocky and Bullwinkle title, because I couldn't decide which one worked.
This week has been a rough week. I have come into work an hour earlier than my usual time. Normally that wouldn't be so bad, but it's really kicked my butt. I am tired and feeling stressed out and just overall cranky and I am pretty sure I'm not fully functioning on all cylinders. That being said I made a big mistake at work. Not so giant I could lose my job, but since I pride myself on doing my job really good, this boo-boo is quiet the 2 X 4 in the face.
I cannot go into details, but it's really upset me. I ran directly to my boss and confessed my sins. My flimsy excuse was that it was a mistake, and that while I didn't do what I normally would have done, it started off with a mistake made by another department.
My boss is awesome. She is really good at sticking with you and watching your back. I have to say again. She is the best manager I have EVER had. She is helping me deal with the issue and I am starting to not feel nearly as stupid as I was. Still not an excuse, but I'm getting over it.
Also I like the Rocky and Bullwinkle title, because I couldn't decide which one worked.
This week has been a rough week. I have come into work an hour earlier than my usual time. Normally that wouldn't be so bad, but it's really kicked my butt. I am tired and feeling stressed out and just overall cranky and I am pretty sure I'm not fully functioning on all cylinders. That being said I made a big mistake at work. Not so giant I could lose my job, but since I pride myself on doing my job really good, this boo-boo is quiet the 2 X 4 in the face.
I cannot go into details, but it's really upset me. I ran directly to my boss and confessed my sins. My flimsy excuse was that it was a mistake, and that while I didn't do what I normally would have done, it started off with a mistake made by another department.
My boss is awesome. She is really good at sticking with you and watching your back. I have to say again. She is the best manager I have EVER had. She is helping me deal with the issue and I am starting to not feel nearly as stupid as I was. Still not an excuse, but I'm getting over it.
Monday, April 2, 2012
And this is why I have no children of my own
This weekend we celebrated Braydons 17th birthday. 17 years old. It makes me feel so ancient. It was just yesterday that I held him for the first time.
I can say that it has been great fun to see him learn and grow through the years. I have enjoyed his unique perspective of the world. But it also has been very difficult for me to relinquish hold on him because his disorder has caused me to treat him as younger than he is, and to want to do things for him.
It has also frustrated by Dan and myself as we sometimes completely flip flop and expect him to be more mature and adult about certain things.
This weekend the boys talked Dan into allowing them to spend the night Saturday. They love to be at our house because.... well it's not their house. HAHAHA
Saturday was a pretty easy day as we went to eat at Godfather's Pizza, and then went to see Wrath of the Titans. Then we went back to our house with Andy, Stef, Lorie, Tony, Dan, myself, and the 3 boys. Immediate dibs was demanded on the two computers (my laptop is off limits).
Dan as always tries to be fair in giving equal time on the computers to each child. Jared is the easiest to deal with as he is so laid back in this attitude. (I know he has a temper, but he's slow to use it).
Lance and Braydon have had a love hate relationship since Lance came along over 12 years ago. I remember Lance being 2 weeks old and Braydon asking when I would be taking Baby Lance home with me. HAHAHAHA. They are true brothers in that they take care of each other, but can't stand to let each other do something that the one wants to do.
Saturday was not too bad for me, as Dan usually deals with them. Jared played WII and Lance and Dan played games on 1 computer, Braydon on the other and I on my lap top.
But Sunday was a test in patience and sadly to say all but Jared failed. half way through the day Dan stomped into our room and said he was done. He wouldn't go downstairs again unless I was there to referee. I don't know the gist of it all, but I guess Lance and Braydon were at each other.
When I went down to see what was happening, I found that Braydon wanted to play the beta for WoW, but it was taking forever to download and was on Dan's computer. Lance wanted to play Dan's computer because he wanted to play a specific game that was only on Dan's computer.
Not knowing that the beta is only on Dan's computer, I made Braydon try to download it to my computer so that Lance could play his game. The download took FOREVER. Then it wouldn't work. I felt bad but there was nothing we could do.
Unfortunately this was too much for Braydon and he had a melt down of sorts. We calmed him down and got him to play something else. Then Jared got a turn on Dan's computer. Finally about 20 minutes before they were about to leave, Lance was able to log into the WoW beta on Dan's computer.
That is where the fun began........ Lance wouldn't let Braydon play it. He kept telling Braydon no, and Braydon kept saying over and over: Please let me play, please let me play, please let me play.
This is where my patience ended. I got a bit angry and told them to shut it off, that they were leaving anyway and no one was playing it now. This set off another melt down for Braydon. I felt bad, but I was at the end of my rope. I kicked them all out to Dan's car and he took them home.
I realized that I am a selfish person. Not in the bad sense, but that I like not having to deal with 24/7 arguments, issues and tantrums. I like sending them home when I can't take it anymore. I also feel that since I didn't win the Mega Millions, and cannot afford more computers, perhaps Braydon and Lance can't have sleep overs together at my house anymore.
However Jared is welcome whenever. He's sweet, mellow and says things to me like: Denise, I'm so glad you are my aunt. Who could say no to someone as cute as that?
I can say that it has been great fun to see him learn and grow through the years. I have enjoyed his unique perspective of the world. But it also has been very difficult for me to relinquish hold on him because his disorder has caused me to treat him as younger than he is, and to want to do things for him.
It has also frustrated by Dan and myself as we sometimes completely flip flop and expect him to be more mature and adult about certain things.
This weekend the boys talked Dan into allowing them to spend the night Saturday. They love to be at our house because.... well it's not their house. HAHAHA
Saturday was a pretty easy day as we went to eat at Godfather's Pizza, and then went to see Wrath of the Titans. Then we went back to our house with Andy, Stef, Lorie, Tony, Dan, myself, and the 3 boys. Immediate dibs was demanded on the two computers (my laptop is off limits).
Dan as always tries to be fair in giving equal time on the computers to each child. Jared is the easiest to deal with as he is so laid back in this attitude. (I know he has a temper, but he's slow to use it).
Lance and Braydon have had a love hate relationship since Lance came along over 12 years ago. I remember Lance being 2 weeks old and Braydon asking when I would be taking Baby Lance home with me. HAHAHAHA. They are true brothers in that they take care of each other, but can't stand to let each other do something that the one wants to do.
Saturday was not too bad for me, as Dan usually deals with them. Jared played WII and Lance and Dan played games on 1 computer, Braydon on the other and I on my lap top.
But Sunday was a test in patience and sadly to say all but Jared failed. half way through the day Dan stomped into our room and said he was done. He wouldn't go downstairs again unless I was there to referee. I don't know the gist of it all, but I guess Lance and Braydon were at each other.
When I went down to see what was happening, I found that Braydon wanted to play the beta for WoW, but it was taking forever to download and was on Dan's computer. Lance wanted to play Dan's computer because he wanted to play a specific game that was only on Dan's computer.
Not knowing that the beta is only on Dan's computer, I made Braydon try to download it to my computer so that Lance could play his game. The download took FOREVER. Then it wouldn't work. I felt bad but there was nothing we could do.
Unfortunately this was too much for Braydon and he had a melt down of sorts. We calmed him down and got him to play something else. Then Jared got a turn on Dan's computer. Finally about 20 minutes before they were about to leave, Lance was able to log into the WoW beta on Dan's computer.
That is where the fun began........ Lance wouldn't let Braydon play it. He kept telling Braydon no, and Braydon kept saying over and over: Please let me play, please let me play, please let me play.
This is where my patience ended. I got a bit angry and told them to shut it off, that they were leaving anyway and no one was playing it now. This set off another melt down for Braydon. I felt bad, but I was at the end of my rope. I kicked them all out to Dan's car and he took them home.
I realized that I am a selfish person. Not in the bad sense, but that I like not having to deal with 24/7 arguments, issues and tantrums. I like sending them home when I can't take it anymore. I also feel that since I didn't win the Mega Millions, and cannot afford more computers, perhaps Braydon and Lance can't have sleep overs together at my house anymore.
However Jared is welcome whenever. He's sweet, mellow and says things to me like: Denise, I'm so glad you are my aunt. Who could say no to someone as cute as that?
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