My brother Brian died yesterday. The shock is still in me.
I just don't understand. He was 1 month shy of his 36 year. We've been friends since Lorie first brought me home from school and introduced me to her little (haha) brother.
I find myself feeling so angry at him. WHY, WHY, WHY?!?!?! He had a little too much to drink, and passed out. We don't know for sure yet, but we think that he vomited and then suffocated because of it.
So not fair! He was a great dad, great friend, great brother, and great person.
My head is so full of thougths and memories. I hope to put them to paper in the next few days. Iwould like his two young boys to know things about their dad before they came along. I want them to know what I know about him. What I felt and what I remember. I want to tell them of his love for them. Of his sweet soul and kind heart.
Tonight Jaxson asked what a soul looks like. Grampa told him that your soul looks just like you when you had a body. Then he asked if a soul could be seen. Not by us, Grampa explained. Jaxson was worried and asked if God could see it? Yes baby, God can see your daddy's soul. He is with Daddy now. Can souls fly or do they walk? We don't know, Grampa says, but Denise says I think they can do both.
God I will miss you Brian. Now I wish I had said the things I wanted and talked to you more. I hope you know how proud of you and how much I love you. You are in my heart.
I just don't understand. He was 1 month shy of his 36 year. We've been friends since Lorie first brought me home from school and introduced me to her little (haha) brother.
I find myself feeling so angry at him. WHY, WHY, WHY?!?!?! He had a little too much to drink, and passed out. We don't know for sure yet, but we think that he vomited and then suffocated because of it.
So not fair! He was a great dad, great friend, great brother, and great person.
My head is so full of thougths and memories. I hope to put them to paper in the next few days. Iwould like his two young boys to know things about their dad before they came along. I want them to know what I know about him. What I felt and what I remember. I want to tell them of his love for them. Of his sweet soul and kind heart.
Tonight Jaxson asked what a soul looks like. Grampa told him that your soul looks just like you when you had a body. Then he asked if a soul could be seen. Not by us, Grampa explained. Jaxson was worried and asked if God could see it? Yes baby, God can see your daddy's soul. He is with Daddy now. Can souls fly or do they walk? We don't know, Grampa says, but Denise says I think they can do both.
God I will miss you Brian. Now I wish I had said the things I wanted and talked to you more. I hope you know how proud of you and how much I love you. You are in my heart.
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